We were sitting in the cafe which had the courtyard with what I remember as the only tree in Kathmandu. That was before we climbed the mountain, before I got so sick. The place was an oasis in the heat and the pollution, but it was still so hard to breathe. We had something to eat, but I can’t remember, and I probably never knew anyways. It was a very simple, ordinary moment, but I dreamt about it anyways. I guess I miss sitting under that tree with you.
My mind always tries to go and live in the next thing. Days later we took the bus to Bandipur. I struggled to take in the scenery. Sometimes I tell myself that I was overstimulated. But in reality, my mind was just trying to rush through everything, to get to the next place and the next thing, hoping it will be less uncomfortable than the last. I end up distracted, because I am intentionally distracting myself.
I want to get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. To see the world more like this image. Our minds are always split into two, one half judging the other, and trying to run into the future is just one mind’s attempt at escaping from the other. Only by becoming more like of an observer can I see the worthwhile parts of life.
How to see it just like this?
Oliver K. Ernst